I met this girl named Jennifer Baynham when she was in 8th grade during my sophomore year of high school. She thought I was the most beautiful piece of masculine flesh she had ever seen….wait, I’m lying. Okay, okay, maybe it was me who couldn’t stop following her around everywhere. So we started dating her freshmen year and almost a decade later in 2004, I flew over to Italy unannounced and unexpected while she was there on a mission trip and surprised her. When she saw me she dropped down on one knee and pleaded with me to marry her. Again, I must confess I am lying. Well, she said yes and the rest is history. We got hitched on May 21, 2005 and I must say, “She’s the best wife I ever had” (the only wife I’ve ever had). Her name is Jennifer Laird and she is officially MY RIB.
